fading of libido in a long term wedding

Why the charisma of  love and desire of the couple fades over time?

Once, the two mates were bonded in a spiritual relationship for the lifetime, they enjoyed the unexplored physical intimacies  of each other. With the passage of time, ( in some cases it can be less than a year) fading of sexual desire leads to a sex-less marriage, a long-term relationship.

Love  and Libido

The fading of desire can be attributed as a loss of imagination. Why the good sex with time disappears? To understand this complex  topic we have to deeply understand the interrelation between emotional intimacy and sexual desire. 

Love is an emotional part of the connection which tells, ‘What do you have  in your life?’. In life everybody wants stability and security. Marriage provides an identity to a relation in the society. We see a partner as a part of the life and future.

In a marriage, couples are emotionally attached through various feelings of care, love, belongingness, togetherness, identity, selflessness and responsibility. This part expects  our beloved to be a pure and a perfect gentleman (safe and secure heavens).

Desire is a portion of the riddle which tells, ‘What do  you want in your life?’. Everyone wants to live all the luxuries of life and do something out of the box to spring a surprise element in life to  rejuvenate the boring monotonous state of life. Desire is a fire which needs air of imagination. It senses the winds of change, something new and thrilling. 

Relationship and contrast between emotional intimacy and sexual desire

On the one hand we want to have security, safety, dependability, predictability, reliability, permanence in a relation. For this we tie the nuptial knot of marriage and settle down to have kids. Marriage is an institute of companionship of the  spouses and children which is important for our social status and succession.  

On the other hand we desire for adventure, novelty, surprise, mystery, risk, danger  in our married monogamous life. For a happy sexual married life you shouldn’t be a bore in the bed. The erotic  pleasure in an overtime connection depends on the factor of libido.  

The interconnection between the two things is that we want to have both in our lifetimes. We want to have  a safe relationship but with an edge. The two factors are in contrast as one tries to be safe and stable but the other is the mix  of much needed something special, extravagant, unsafe and daring living. 

What are the turn-offs for sexual desire?

Selfless love is a turnoff for the erotic love you desire in your wedding life. Various factors that affect libido are as follows:

  • Health issues: Studies have proven that obesity results in many  far reaching health complications. A healthy and leaner body has an optimal balance of hormones. It helps the mood improving  the confidence and desire.
  • Incompatible sex drives: Sexual satisfaction is vital for a healthy and robust relationship. The amount of sex one desires can differ from one person to another. This can be a major turn-off in a relationship as the timing for sex does not harmonize.
  • Children: After the birth of a child the sexual life takes a back seat as all the time is consumed in raising and caring for the child. 
  • Stress: Excessive stress releases the stress hormone cortisol in the body. Stress drains  mentally and physically lowering the sexual desire. 
  • Sexual problems: Both men and women counter various sexual problems in their life.Firstly, they are not aware about their problems. Secondly, they don’t want to share their confusions and inhibitions about their bodies, even with their partners with whom they have to spend their entire life.These things tend to decrease the sexual desire in a person’s life.

For the answers,they can talk to sex therapists i.e. sexologists to sort out their questions.Unsatisfied sexual life can be a reason for adultery among humans. 

Sexual problems can be due to the following malfunctions in the body:

         In males:

    • Erectile dysfunction: This is a state in which difficulty arises in keeping an erection or to get one.
    • Premature ejaculation: In this condition the person reaches orgasm very early.
    • Delayed ejaculation: In this situation the person arrives at orgasm very slowly
  • Size of penis: In men , the penis size issues  are concerned with their intensity of maleness. There are a lot of inhibitions and myths related to the size.
  • Infertility: It depends on the sperm count in the semen.

          In Females:

  • Pain during intercourse: There is a lot of pain during intercourse. It can be due to infections, cysts, scars etc. and even due to insufficient lubrication.
  • Anorgasmia: This is a condition in which there is trouble reaching orgasm during sexual intercourse.
  • Sexual abuse and trauma:  In India, we have a conservative and an orthodox outlook on sex. Sometimes, kids in their adolescent age  are sexually abused which results in a deep distressing and disturbing mental experience for them.They don’t open up as these events  are not discussed and are shut down deep in their haunted memories due to the social pressure and fear of maligning of social prestige of the family concerned.
  • Communication and Relationship Issues: There can be issues between two different mates regarding their thoughts and perceptions about life. Quarrels often halt personal communications. Conflicts are a deterrent for healthy sexual activity.

  • Compatibility issues

In case of any consultation regarding Libido problems, feel free to drop us a message at any time satinderbams@gmail.com or call use directly on following phone numbers: +91-9416534999+91-9467015252

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